I was eighteen years old with over two years of training under my weight lifting belt when I first started my research on anabolic steroid usage. I was fascinated to find out how exactly steroids worked and what a typical “steroid cycle” looked like. I wanted to know what my idols had been taking so I too could look just like them. Fortunately for me I could find all of the information I needed with a just click of a mouse from the help of the internet. Unfortunately for me, there was also alot of misinformation on that very same internet so I had to try my best to cut through the spam and find out the true facts.

After reading numerous articles and studies on anabolic steroids through reputable websites and books I found in the local library I still couldn’t decide whether or not I wanted to incorporate these drugs into my supplement and training regime.

The media had always made me believe that steroids were dangerous and could kill you. However upon further review I could not find a single case where a person had died directly from the usage of anabolic steroids. I heard stories that steroids could cause serious anxiety issues and increased aggression in certain individuals also known as “Roid Rage”. I found this so called “Roid Rage” hard to believe as at this point in time I had been training down in Venice Beach California, surrounded by guys who were using steroids and not once did I ever see a single one of them lose their temper while training in the gym. There also seemed to be a common belief amongst the general population that the bodybuilders who were using steroids were cheaters. I had another hard time justifying this accusation as I thought to myself that if all the fitness competitors were using steroids and if they were not banned within the organizations that they competed in then wasn’t it an even playing field?

Now don’t get me wrong, there are also some pretty scary facts out there about these pharmaceutical drugs. I learned that the abuse of steroids in men can reduce sperm count, shrink the testicles and even enlarge the breasts. In women steroids can increase body hair, make skin rough, decrease breast size, enlarge the clitoris and deepen the voice. And in both men and women steroid usage can lead to high blood pressure, heart attacks, strokes, liver disease, oily skin and acne, and all of this just to name a few of the side effects associated with anabolic steroids.

I was a teenager living in California surrounded by beautiful bodies. It was hard for me to not want to take the risk to achieve the reward. I figured I could always just try steroids for a couple of months and come off a cycle after I gained a few pounds. The more that I started to train with the big boys the less excuses I found to not start my first steroid cycle. I felt I was ready to make some serious gains in the gym. I figured this was the only option I had left, if I wanted to continue to produce results within my own body. So I did my research, I designed what I thought at the time was the absolute best steroid cycle that a beginner could do, I purchased everything I needed for my cycle and then at the very last minute, I had a change of heart.

Now what I called a change of heart, the others guys I trained with called “chickening out” or being a “wussy”. It seemed like everyone that was in my immediate circle was on some kind of muscle enhancing drug or fat burner except for me. So what was my problem?

Well actually I didn’t have a problem. I wasn’t against steroid usage but I had just come to the realization that they weren’t for me. You see, the one thing I didn’t mention was that most of the bigger guys that I knew who were using steroids were also obsessed with their physiques and working out. They were all so restrictive with their lifestyles as to what they ate, what time they ate at, training schedules and the time of day they woke up and went to bed that it seemed as if they had become prisoners within their own bodies. Now even though I considered myself to be quite the disciplined individual when it came to diet and training these guys turned my little workout hobby that I liked to do for fun into a 24/7 job. In other words, they were obsessed.

Okay, okay so we’ve all heard the expression – “Obsessed is a word that the lazy use to describe the dedicated” however these guys truly were obsessed. I’ve trained for many competitions over the years and have dedicated thousands of hours to my physique. I would hardly call myself lazy but I’m definitely not obsessed. I don’t mind that I will probably never have 21 inch arms. I’m okay with not having a ripped abs showing year round. And I’m quite content with my bodyfat levels staying within double digits when I’m not competing on stage. This is actually normal. I realize that I am far from normal but I do enjoy my life immensely as is.

Sure, I like to train hard and look good but if I miss a workout or eat a couple slices of pizza (or an entire pizza sometimes) I don’t obsess over it. Life really is too short to deprive oneself of all the simple little pleasures that are offered to us on a regular basis.

The purpose of this three part blog was not to deter you from using steroids. In fact, I have friends who use these drugs and I don’t pass judgment on them whatsoever. I simply wrote this blog to explain what motivated me to start working out which eventually lead me to a career within the fitness industry that I love. Sure, I’ve had my temptations to transform my physique into an GI Joe action hero. I would be lying if I had said that I never wanted to take illegal fat burners rather then do hours upon hours of cardio getting ready for a competition. And yes, occasionally I have even glanced around the gym at the guys who are bigger then me and who are also training with half the intensity as I am and have considered  taking the “easier way” out.

However at the end of the day, it’s all about longevity and health for me. Plus, I’ve never been one to take the easy way out. I’ve been in the fitness industry for a long time and plan on staying here for an even longer time. Hell, I might even walk on stage a few more times. For me to do this though I need to stay fit and healthy on my own terms and not have to rely on supplements and/or drugs to get me through my workouts and help promote my physique.

Whether you are currently taking steroids or are considering taking steroids, the choice is and always should be yours. My only advice is that whatever you decide to do or take especially when it comes to your health and your own body is that you research it until you completely understand all the risks and the side effects and then you research it again.

In closing, to quote the great Bruce Lee – ” Life’s battles don’t always go to the stronger or faster man. But sooner or later the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.”

Yours in Good Health,

Nick Cosgrove