A few months ago we had a new potential client come down to our Training Facility to meet with me for a consultation. During our consultation the topic of diet and nutrition came up. This particular individual had rated her diet as a 2 out of 10 on the Questionnaire that we ask all new clients to fill out before meeting with us. When I asked our new client as to why she had rated her diet so poorly, she explained to me that her Partner prefers to eat a lot of Fast Food, Take-Out and Junk Food throughout the week. I then asked her if she herself enjoys eating those foods, in which she was quick to reply that she only eats what her Partner eats as its “easy”, “convenient” and “what he enjoys eating”.

At first, I was a bit taken back by this response as I personally would never compromise my own nutritional plan just to appease someone else. If I don’t like a particular food, or a certain meal makes me feel crappy after I eat it, then quite simply, I just don’t incorporate it into my diet.

With that said, I do understand that relationships are all about compromise and sometimes we have to do things that we don’t like or enjoy doing, because we understand that it makes the other person that we are with happy.

However this particular compromise with this woman’s diet got me to thinking – How far should we compromise our own health just to make someone else feel good about themselves and be happy?

Single & Selfish

Many of the clients that we work with are single. And most of them are single by choice. I hear them tell me things such as that they can’t be in a relationship because they are either too selfish with their time, too busy with their career, or too dedicated to their health and fitness. And even though I do have an understanding as to where they’re coming from, I guess what I don’t understand is why they feel that they have to be alone to do all the things that they enjoy doing, and not feel guilty about spending time on the things that must be done.

The Relationship Guru

Now by no means would I consider myself to be an expert when it comes to relationships. And therefore it would be completely inappropriate of me to offer anyone advice on their own relationships. However in my own personal opinion, spending the majority of your life doing things that you don’t want to do, eating things that you don’t want to eat, and living a life that you don’t want to live, just to appease someone else, makes absolutely no sense to me.

So what if you enjoy going to the gym for an hour a day? And who cares if you like to prepare your meals for the week ahead of time? And is it really that big of a deal if you want to get ahead in your career, and spend a few extra hours each week working on improving your craft or refining your business?

I believe that a true friend and/or loving spouse should understand and support your decisions to better yourself and improve the quality of your own life and vice versa. If you are with someone who is stopping you from achieving your goals and living a life that you truly want to live, then perhaps it’s time that you yourself stop for a moment, and revaluate just how important your relationship with this individual truly is.

Get Out Of Your Own Head

Look, I’m not married. I don’t have kids. And quite frankly, I can be as so-called “selfish” with my time as I like. Therefore it’s difficult for me to relate to someone who is in a situation where they feel as if they always have to put someone else’s needs and wants ahead of the their own. With that said, I do have relationships with people who I love, respect and admire, and therefore there are times when I myself am willing to put their own needs and wants ahead of my own. And honestly, even though I might not always enjoy it, I don’t necessarily mind it either because I love the people who I’m making these compromises and sacrifices for.

And even though you yourself may love your family and friends, and are willing to make compromises on certain things such as your time, energy and effort, I think there should be a point as to where you stop and refuse to make any additional compromises if you know that they will have an impact on your overall health.

In my own case, I don’t hang out with people who eat fast food on a regular basis. I don’t associate with people who like to drink and party on a weekly basis. And I don’t really relate with people who just work for the weekend and to collect a pay cheque. It’s not that I think that I’m better than these people, I just don’t have anything in common with these people. Therefore I choose to spend my time, effort and energy on doing the things that I WANT to do, with the people that I WANT to do them with. And if these people don’t want to do the things that I enjoy doing and understand that I only have a limited amount of available time during my week, then by no means am I offended or upset, if we tend to eventually separate and go our own separate ways.

The Break-Up

I’m not suggesting that you run out and break up with your significant other, or stop calling your parents every other weekend to check-in because you feel that they are holding you back from achieving the life that you want to live. I’m simply reminding you that we are only on this planet for a short period of time and therefore shouldn’t waste the time that we do have, doing things that in reality we don’t want to do. No, life cannot always be fun, and yes there is a time for work and time a for play. But if that time for play turns into work, and that time for work starts impacting your health, then perhaps it’s time to reassess how you spend your time and who you spend your time with.

“Sometimes Bad Things Fall Apart So That Good Things Can Fall Together.”
Marilyn Monroe

Yours in Good Health,

Nick Cosgrove
Forever Fit Performance