I know what you’re thinking – Why the hell am I writing a blog about break-ups this week?

I mean honestly, what the hell do I know about relationships?

I am just a Meathead after all, who spends the majority of his waking hours renovating physiques and designing bullet proof Nutritional Plans (enter shameless plug-in here).

But believe it or not, this Meathead is also quite meticulous. And because I’m quite meticulous, I have spent the better half of the past twenty years listening to all of my clients’ problems, issues and dilemmas, both on and off the gym floor. And as such, even though I’m not qualified to offer advice on anything beyond my scope of practice, I have gained some knowledge as to how relationships work, as well as some insight as to when to either try and salvage them, or when to just end them for good.

The Relationship Guru

For the record, I am NOT a Relationship Coach. And even though I sometimes might feel like one given the problems and issues that I hear from clients who are experiencing difficulty with their significant other, I’ve always refrained from offering my suggestions or advice when it comes to relationships.

With that said, I’m always surprised when I hear of people staying with one another when it’s quite obvious from their words and their actions that they are not happy. I understand that break-ups can be difficult and upsetting. I also understand that they can become incredibly complicated if you and your partner have children and/or own property together. However in my opinion, having to face heartache and deal with inconvenience, are not just reasons to remain in a toxic relationship.

Staying True To Yourself

I’ve worked with a few clients over the years of whom I feel changed themselves and who they were, in order to please the person that they were with. Yes, relationships are all about compromises and sacrifices. However I don’t think a person should ever have to compromise his or her beliefs, change their personality, or give up on all of the things that they enjoy, just to appease their partner and/or significant other.

I remember I once briefly dated a woman who informed me that she would not be able to continue to see me unless I “slowed down”. When I asked her to elaborate on this statement she mentioned that I always seemed to have something on the go. Whether it was running my business, or wanting to get outside and do physical activities, explore new places or just go to the beach and spend the entire day by the water, she couldn’t handle it. Her ideal relationship was sitting at home with her partner after work while watching TV and enjoying a bottle (or two) of wine with some take-out. And in all honestly, the idea of doing something like this for the remainder of my life on daily basis was enough for me to want to end that particular relationship and move on.

Luckily, the woman of whom I’m speaking of and I are still friends to this day. We mutually ended the relationship as it was obvious that we both wanted different things and therefore were not meant to be together.

Finding Common Ground

Personally, I like being with someone that challenges me and calls me out on my bullshit from time to time. I also like being with someone who is intelligent and motivates me to want to do better in life. I believe a partnership needs to be 50/50 across the board, and that both members need to respect one another’s boundaries and limitations.

I don’t necessarily think it’s important to be with someone with whom you share all the exact same interests with. However I do think having a few common interests is important when building a solid foundation within your relationship in order to help it grow over time.

As for looks? Well yes, of course it’s important that you are attracted to your partner – both on a physical and mental scale. But we all know that looks are a dying asset that fades over time. Therefore trying to build a relationship off them seems to be a poor investment in my opinion.

Why The Break-Up Blog?

Why the fuck not?

I write about what I want to write about, and write it when I feel like writing about it. I stopped censoring my blogs after my Grand Mal Seizure this year. It was at this point when I realized that life truly is short and therefore I was no longer going to hold back on the emotions that I was feeling or the words that I wanted to say. Mind you, this was also the exact same time that I became heavily addicted to those prescription based pain killers that I spoke about in last week’s blog, so perhaps they played a small role as well.

In any event, the main reason as to why I decided to write this week’s blog is because it coincides during a time in which we as a society are going through a significant change – both on a personal level and on a global scale. I think it’s safe to say that COVID-19 has impacted all of our lives in one way or another. And for me, it’s made me realize that I don’t want to waste a minute of my life with someone who doesn’t make me feel better about myself. And in all honestly, that same person shouldn’t want to be with me, unless I can offer them the same.

“Relationships are like glass, sometimes it’s better to leave them broken, because when you try to pick up the pieces; you always end up getting hurt.”
Rebekah

Yours in Good Health,

Nick Cosgrove
Forever Fit Performance