“Mean”

“Intimidating”

“Angry”

“Arrogant”

“Egotistical”

These were all words that were once used to describe me by training partners, colleagues, and even clients upon first impressions.

When training in the gym, rarely if ever did I smile.

When training in the gym, rarely if ever did I attempt to make eye contact with anyone around me.

When training in the gym, rarely if ever did I offer to help someone with a spot or assist them with clearing their weights.

When training in the gym, I was an asshole.

When training in the gym, I was a jerk.

And when training in the gym, I had developed permanent resting bitch face and I didn’t even know it.

How RBF Almost Destroyed My Business

Like many people who suffer from resting bitch face, I was completely oblivious to the fact that I had it until one day it was brought to my attention by one of my training partners. At first, I was shocked to learn that some gym members were afraid to approach me. However I never thought anything of it afterwards as during this time, I could care less about making friends at the gym. In fact, during my earlier years of training I didn’t want any distractions in the gym whatsoever, therefore I figured the less people that spoke to me, the better.

Once I became a little bit older and more mature though, I began to realize that not only was my resting bitch face having a negative impact on potential meaningful relationships from occurring, but it was also having a negative impact on my business relationships as well. After all, the LAST thing any business owner wants to do is scare away clients. Yet, unknowingly at the time, I was doing exactly just that.

Many of my clients who have been working with me for the past 20+ years have told me that when they first met me, they had hesitation to hire me as their trainer. To them, I was a tatted up meathead who appeared angry and pissed off 24/7. I had a look on my face as if I had just eaten a big bowl of dog shit and was savouring every bite. Luckily for me, I was able to charm them with my personality (shocking I know) and win their trust with my professionalism (their words, not mine).

But let’s be honest – first impressions really do count. And not everyone would be willing to book, never mind sit through a consultation with someone who they felt intimidated and/or fearful of. Therefore I needed to change my approach and I needed to change it fast. I needed to learn how to become more receptive towards making a change in the way I conducted myself both on and off the gym floor. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy. These bad habits that I had formed, were not going to go away overnight. This was now something that I had to be constantly aware of and something that I truly wanted to change. Fortunately for me, I was able to do just that.

How I Got Rid of My RBF

A smile really can go a long way (Unless ofcourse it’s a creepy smile – Guys take note!). Regardless of whether I am at my gym or visiting a commercial gym, I always make an attempt to smile or at least acknowledge those who are around me. A quick “Hello” or “How Are You Doing?” can make the people around you feel more comfortable and at ease. These little gestures take no effort to do, and once you do them often enough, they just become habitual. Offering someone a spot when it’s obvious that they might need one, will take little to no time away from your own workout. And helping someone clear weights off a machine while you yourself are resting between sets, will have zero impact on your gains and results.

The more I began to interact with the people around me in the gym, the more enjoyable my own workouts became. Never being one to get drawn into long conversations at the gym, I’ve always kept the talking to a minimum but at the same time have remained polite and respectful. It may have taken me a few years to realize it, but I can take my workouts seriously and still remain friendly at the same time. And not only can this lead to building better relationships and friendships, but it can also lead to building stronger business relationships as well.

When Is It Okay To Make RBF?

Now with all the above being said, it would be ignorant of me to not at least address when having a resting bitch face could be considered warranted. For example, the creepy guy in the corner of the gym who is always staring at women inappropriately and ogling them when they are performing certain exercises, deserves a resting bitch face. The woman who is obviously at the gym to do everything EXCEPT workout and just wants to gossip and talk the entire time she is in the gym, deserves resting bitch face. And the people that do not clear their own weights or occupy a piece of equipment for well over 15 minutes, you guessed it, deserve resting bitch face.

But I think it’s important to remember that the people I described above are a small percentage of the population. Most people are kind and decent. And when given the opportunity, they will be just as kind and decent to you as you are to them, if not more.

In conclusion, if you know you have resting bitch face and want to make a change, then make that change today. Get rid of your resting bitch face by smiling more and offering gestures of kindness to those around you. You might be surprised by all the positivity that these effortless acts provide back to you in life.

“Be the energy that you wish to attract.”
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Yours in Good Health,

Nick Cosgrove
Forever Fit Performance