Twas two weeks before Christmas and the gyms across town were beginning to look quite empty and bare,
People had gone on holidays early, and the smell of sweat and intensity had dispersed into the air.
I’ve never quite understood the reason to take a prolonged period away from the gym,
Especially if one’s goal is to remain fit and stay trim.
Yet, here I sit perplexed as I only have forty sessions scheduled this week,
And the rest of the month is not looking much busier, in fact things are looking quite bleak.
But now is not the time to get upset, stressed or sad,
Because those feelings are considered weak and inadequate, according to my Dad.
Rather now is the time to be proactive and stop twiddling my thumbs,
Perhaps I should go on Instagram and start advertising photos of my bum.
I promised myself that I would keep this year’s holiday rant classy and clean,
But that was before social media became a garbage dump of sexual advertisements for the notorious selfies queens.
It’s been five years and these fitness enthusiasts are still filtering photos of their abs and their butt,
And I’ve really tried my best this year to try and keep my mouth shut.
But there’s only so much shameless selfies that a person like me can take,
And I swear to God, I’m going to lose it, if I see one more video of someone twerking it to Drake.
Some of these online trainers claim to be healthy and fit,
Yet most of them are just following fad diets such as Intermittent Fasting and IIFYM because they’re lazy and don’t know shit.
Yes, you can technically lose weight and still eat tons of crap,
And I’m sure you burned those 1000+ calories doing Zumba according to your fitness app.
All I see these days in gyms are people texting and tweeting on their phones,
Nobody seems to train hard anymore, rarely if ever do I hear any grunts and/or groans.
Perhaps this is due to a change in the times,
Or perhaps this is due to a lack of my rhymes.
There once was a time when I could call out these people and be more direct,
But these days, I’ve had to censor myself because everything is so damn politically correct.
Nowadays everyone is so scared of overtraining that they’re told to take a break,
But then they wonder why when they walk, their asses start to jiggle and their bellies begin to shake.
I myself, have been accused of training for the sole purpose to only get bigger,
And that my extra large clothes and vast vocabulary skills, make me look and sound like a wigger.
But I’m in this game for the long run and practice being fit and staying healthy,
And I do enjoy helping others and don’t do it to just be rich or become wealthy.
I believe it’s important to practice what you preach and do what one loves,
And yes, ten years later, I’m still making fun of men that wear training gloves.
But, I say this in fun and I never try to hurt, ridicule or shame,
Nor do I pass judgement on people who make that outrageous claim,
That they cannot get results and that their genetics are to blame.
Just go to the gym this holiday season and train like a beast,
And then go home and spend quality time with your family and enjoy your massive feast.
Use your extra calories for fuel and lift hard and heavy,
And then you won’t feel so bad when you have that extra bevy.
I wish you all a happy holiday season and to all a good night,
And remember, if you’re going to eat, sleep and train, just make sure that you do it right.
Yours in Good Health,
Forever Fit Performance