Living in today’s modern society we can easily find ourselves surrounded by temptations on a daily basis. Whether those temptations are sugary treats at the coffee shop that you visit frequently, alcoholic beverages with a group of friends after work at your local pub or rooftop patio, or meaningless sex with a stranger whose name you can’t remember, we all have urges and impulses that can sometimes make us act irrationally. And sometimes it’s okay to give into those urges and sudden impulses. In fact, I would go as far to say that it’s actually healthy for us to let loose and enjoy life’s little gratifications from time to time.

But what happens when we constantly give into those urges, act impulsively, and become lost in temptation? Most of us experience feelings of guilt, shame, sorrow and regret as an aftermath of whatever act took place. And even though many of us promise ourselves that “it will be the last time” that we have that extra slice of cake, or order an extra round of Jagerbombs, or sleep with that person whose name we don’t even know, statistically speaking, most of us will eventually breakdown and relapse again.

But is there a way for us to break these viscous cycles that we occasionally find ourselves in that are not adding any value to our lives? As someone who has struggled with his own addictions and unhealthy vices, I had to find out.

21 Days

Okay, by now most of us have heard the saying “It takes 21 Days to develop a healthy habit”.  And I would have say that for the most part, I agree with this statement.

Whenever I work with clients who are completely new to exercising and working out with weights, there are always growing pains. For many people just the idea of going to the gym is a challenge, nevermind the actual act of going to the gym itself! In the early stages of training, it’s very likely for Iron Virgins to miss a few workouts. Trust me when I tell that this happens 90% of the time with beginners. However what I’ve noticed over the years is that as those beginners slowly start to turn into intermediate lifters, they become less and less likely to miss or skip their scheduled workouts.

Now some people might suggest that this is because people begin to become more and more motivated to exercise and workout when they start to see and feel results. And although I believe this to be partly true, I do not believe that it’s the entire reason as to why these intermediate/turned advanced lifters become more consistent with their diet and training. I believe the main reason for this change in lifestyle is due to the fact that they were able to create a new routine and gradually implement it into there daily schedules. This ofcourse took a great deal of time, effort and discipline on their part in order to achieve this. It did not happen overnight.

Accountability

Earlier this week I asked some of my clients how they overcame the temptation to skip their workouts when they first started working with me. And funny enough, they all agreed that having a scheduled appointment with a Trainer (ie me) helped keep them more accountable and focused on getting to the gym for their sessions. They didn’t want to let me down and disrespect and/or waste my time in any way. Fast forward a few months/years later, and now their “scheduled appointments” are just a part of their everyday life. They have made the time to exercise and take care of their health and they treat their workouts with me, just as important as they treat all other work related meetings and events that they must attend to.

Discipline

A common word that many of my clients use to describe me (besides asshole) is disciplined. I don’t miss meals, I don’t skip my workouts, and I don’t cancel clients’ training sessions. Ofcourse there are times when I like to go out and have fun, but even those fun times are accounted for in my schedule.

For example, if I know I will be attending an event that isn’t going to have any foods available that are typically on my diet plan, I will generally fill up on my own foods before I head out to the event. Then once I am at the event, I become less likely to indulge in the foods that I know are not good for me, because I’m already too full to eat.

When it comes to having a few drinks with friends and family members, I always stick to Gin & Soda and rarely if ever mix my alcohol throughout the night. Gin contains very little sugar and Club Soda obviously contains no sugar or calories at all. This allows me to enjoy myself without having to worry about consuming large quantities of sugar or a surplus of calories that will only be stored as body fat.

As for skipping my own workouts, I make this almost impossible to do, because I treat my workout like any other appointment in my day. And what I mean by that is that regardless of how shitty, tired or stressed I might feel, by taking my workouts as seriously as I would with my business meetings and clients’ training sessions, I’m less likely to talk myself out of “taking the day off” or giving my body “a break” when I know that it doesn’t really need one.

Keeping Records

I’m sure we all have some regrets in life. None of us our perfect. However whenever I do something that I’ve regretted, I’ve always tried my best to learn from my mistake and remember how poorly I felt about myself afterwards. And although I still make mistakes (lots of mistakes) I rarely if ever make the same mistakes again and again. I’ve always found that writing down how I’m feeling immediately after I’ve done something that causes me feelings of guilt, shame and regret, helps whenever I’m tempted to do something that is not good for me again. When I start to feel certain urges and impulse about to occur, I simply bring up my notes on my phone and read over how I felt the last time I did something that I knew was not adding value to my life. For some reason, more often than not, this seems to work well for me on a personal level.

So How Long Can You Last?

Some of us have better habits than others. Some of us are mentally stronger than others. Some of us live healthier lifestyles than others. And some of us just like to sit back, enjoy life, and not worry about trying to control our urges or acting on our sudden impulses.

There’s no right or wrong way to live your life. As long as you are happy and healthy and enjoy the life in which you are living, then those feelings of guilt, shame, sorrow and regret will eventually subside. At the same time, if you want to make a change in your life and some of your daily habits, then you have to make a conscious effort to initiate that change yourself.

Ask for accountability from someone who you respect and trust.

Practice being more disciplined throughout even the smallest of tasks.

And pay close attention to how you feel both mentally and physically after you’ve done something that you’ve regretted so that you’re able to learn better from your mistakes moving forward.

“Discipline is choosing what you want now and what you want most.”
Abraham Lincoln

Yours in Good Health,

Nick Cosgrove
Forever Fit Performance